So yesterday I decided to let go of a wisdom tooth that was taking the mickey out of me. My last experience at the dentist to pull a tooth was when I was about nine and left me losing lunch hanging outside my Dads open car door.
After numerous efforts to fill this tooth and the filling coming out, being ingested, or chomped on to my other teethes discontent, I decided that it had to go.
My dentist, a very competent man, was as usual quite calm about the experience. Me, I was shitting bricks at this stage, sweaty palms, shaky knees, etc. So he says smoothly, “you OK with needles?” Now, when you are lying down on your back, a bright light in your eyes and a needle from hell already casting its silhouette of doom over your face, how do you say no. So in it goes with no pain at all but obviously my body is screaming “INVASION!!!!!”.
Next we hang for 5 minutes while he prods at mu lower lips, Is it dead yet? and i am trying to put this off as long as possible say weakly ” Almost…..?”
Any way eventually my face is numb enough for me to have no control over my lips as they slacken off and land softly on either side of may face. He pulls out an instrument call a wedge and starts proddin’ an pokin’ and loosening up the tooth. I thought it was loose already?
Then come the forceps. At this stage I am gouging holes in the leather recliner and he say “You are doing well”. Little does he know I am now about to pass out but vaguely hear him say that he is going to hold my jaw and I may feel a little tugging. Bastard, he lied…He grips my jaw in his surprisingly strong little hands and commences to force the now very hesitant tooth out with pliers of stainless steel. Well i think I did pass out for a second there because suddenly its all over and he is holding my tooth for me to ooh and aah over. Frankly I don’t care about the tooth, it hurt me enough.
Then he says I need to give you a couple of stitches and shows me a curved needle, ………………………out like a light.
So I come round and its all done, I have a new ache where the old one was, wads of gauze puffing out my cheek and a cautionary note saying not to rinse, or drink from a straw (?) for twenty four hours.
Today I am feeling better but I still see that syringe in my sleep
That equals 100 000 pounds a minute….WTF – is she crazy??? Good she may be but – really?